Friday, June 16, 2006

Not Now

Not now;
I have sunk too deep already
into the pity of my self.
I have opened that hole one more time
and jumped, mouth first.
I have finally perfected the art of falling,
listening to the chatter of grass,
and the deep thud of your stare.

Not now,
I have buried too many stories
beneath my speak,
I have told the same tale
many times under,
and heard in your hoarseness
the same song sung.

Not now.
I have walked to the edge already,
seen the line crumble
and the end blur.
Not now...

I have told you before
of my suitors
but the visited are never cured.
I have already dragged you with me--
if only the damned had a plea in heaven...


Scheherazade said...

This moves me to tears. And tears at the stitches of some painful memories I thought had healed.
I'm embarassed that I identify with it so much. It's almost anthemic--is that a word?

"and hear in your hoarseness the same song sung."
This line I will commit to memory.

You've carried me to a dark place. And I hate being here, I must confess. Nevertheless, Bravo Asram (forgive the misspelling).

Now I need light...

However, I do wish I could hear you read this aloud. I hope your reading goes well.


arch.memory said...


Sorry to have taken you back to that dark place. You shouldn't be embarassed that you identify with it, though; otherwise, I should be, too, no?

And thank you so much for your heartfelt comment; I am very touched that it moved you so.

I will be reading this on Sunday for you, and maybe I'll be able to record it, too.

All my very best,


Mar said...

Jumped, mouth first...perfected the art of falling...Very intense in letting go...

Russell Ragsdale said...

If we must talk about it, we must say it in ways that wake us up. Not just a shout but that uncliched phrase:

and the deep thud of your stare

was perfect!

Scheherazade said...

hope your reading went well.

did you record it?

arch.memory said...

Mar, Russell, thank you! Always good to hear from you.

Yasmin, the reading is this coming Sunday; I'll keep you posted!

ozymandiaz said...

i wonder if it is the summer, the heat pressing our souls, but there seems quite a bit of these painful journeys about.