Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Mama

Mama,
_____I am getting tired of my sadness,
__________is that okay?
Mama,
_____I am starting to pretend that you're fine,
__________do you mind?
Mama,
_____my anger has eaten the best of me;
now I am farther from who you are
_____or you'd like me to be.

Mama,
_____is it alright if I stop grieving for today?
_____If I stop thinking of your hardship daily?
Because, Mama,
_____they don't care,
and I'm getting tired of caring.
(But, Mama,
_____you know I do.)

_____Yes, I wish I were with you now.
I know you wouldn't wish it,
but somewhere you want me nearby too.
_____Wading the days with you,
_____waiting for dawn after we've counted
__________bombs like sheep.
Yes, we'll finish the wine off like there's no tomorrow,
_____because drunk, together, we wouldn't care.

_____But here I do, Mama.
I drink my wine in a pill,
_____tasteless as my sorrow.
Because, Mama,
_____here they don't care, Mama.
But I do, Mama.
_____I do.

14 comments:

_z. said...

a rhapsody of war?
man I wish I was there too... even though I would be scared shitless...

arch.memory said...

Ziad--and this is not out of bravado or anything--but I do wish I was there now...

pepektheassassin said...

A very moving poem. I also wish things were different. For everybody's sake.

katy said...

it's great to see you've written a new poem, dear, but the subject matter... i feel it too. and i am oh so more a distance away from it all than you.

and like i have said to you in email this past week, the more i read the more i find it difficult to respond. having heard from ahmad gave me hope. hearing that un troops have finaly been sent in gives me hope.

but the solution still feels so distant.

this poem cradles the sentiment i meant to imply in 'tired'.
and it almost has the rhythm of a lullabye. only this time sung to a mother by her child.

Nada said...

I'm not a blogger. But I have been reading your blog. I am lebanese living in the states for 5 years now. My whole family is in lebanon and I just have to tell you I know exactly how you feel. I cant sleep at night. I have constant nightmares about my family. I feel helpless and worse of all hopeless. I havent been able to express any of my feelings since this whole thing started and it's probably because there are too many of em and they are all horrible and sad. So i just wanted to thank you for expressing my feelings too ( and i'm sure alot of people also feel that way) in your blogs.

arch.memory said...

Nada, I am glad I was able to, because I've been finding it so difficult to do it for myself these days, and I often have to rely on the words of others... So, I know the feeling...

(((katy)))

Pepek, I wish things were different, too, for all of us. I thank you for your comments, here and elsewhere.

thepoetryman said...

"But here I do, Mama.
I drink my wine in a pill,
tasteless as my sorrow.
Because, Mama,
here they don't care, Mama.
But I do, Mama.
I do."

Arch Memory,

Would you like to guest post on Poetic Justice (Don't burn the flag. Wash it!)

I would be honored my friend.

Just let me know...

arch.memory said...

I'd be honored! What does it entail?
(I'll e-mail you.)
Thanks.

Mar said...

I do too. Even the pill gets stuck in my throat.

Eve said...

OMG Arch, this is so moving and intense. thank you for sharing..

anita said...

Dear friend,

I took the opportunity to use your poem in one of my posts. I hope you won't mind. Your blog is very beautiful. Your poetry touching. And I feel sad for the people of Lebanon.

Thanks,
Anita

arch.memory said...

Mar, Eve, let's hope that this nightmare is over soon for all of us...
Anita, of course I don't mind. Thank you very much!
Ashraf

Crunchy Weta said...

Raw anguish that says it all.Powerful.
Cheers
Glenn

Cecilia said...

((((((Ashraf))))))