Thursday, March 29, 2007

While I'm Gone

I'll be going to Lebanon soon for a couple of weeks, my first time since the war... I'm certainly looking forward to seeing my family again, but bracing myself for the worst, in terms of witnessing the destruction--or just the cleared lots and non-existent bridges. I don't think I'll be online much while there (not like I've been posting that often of late!). But while I'm gone, I invite you to visit the newly launched Mad Poets Blog. And I hope to come back refreshed and inspired, with some fresh words up my sleeve.
Take care,
Ashraf

10 comments:

Rachel said...

Ashraf, be safe and enjoy your family.

R

_z. said...

Ashraf, god speed my friend. sallim 3a lebnen.

my only advice to you... be patient. The last time I was there (after the war), I kind of lacked patience...

arch.memory said...

Thanks for the advice, Ziad; I hope I can heed it. Patience isn't usually in my virtues, but I hope I can find it in me this time...

sweetscentofbeirut said...

I like your profile picture by the way.Its very intriguing.

Im going to Lebanon as well this summer.And Im a little worried.Im afraid that I will just break down because of the things that I might see. But I need to go there.Im pretty sure everyhting is going to be sentimnenal for me and for anyone who goes back.

I will remember dikanit Nawal or Abul Abed that closed down.Or the binayi in fron of 3amto Samia's house where I used to talk to Rana.

Its probably all gone by now....

But oh well. I have to go and work things out regardless of what has happened or will happen.

arch.memory said...

I'm glad you like the picture :) Sometimes I think it's too morose, but at other time it seems to be able to say all that I cannot.

You put it quite succinctly, that dread of going back... And I am afraid it's going to be like the first time I went back a couple of years after my grandmother died: everyone had moved on, but I was stuck there, at the doorstep of her house, choking. Even my grandfather was looking at me saying, "Come on now..."

sweetscentofbeirut said...

The exact same thing happened to me when I was in Lebanon last summer during the war.Everyone acted as if the war was normal.It was like they were immune to it.

"its ok libnan ib tirj3a tit3amar"
But to me it wasnt ok.All of those memories are gone.Who is going to bring those back?

Im still not over the war.And everyone is just like "come on its about time that you get over it."

But I cant get over it.Because it really hit me hard.Lebanon was the place that kept me going.I invested all of my hope and dreams in that certain place and now its all gone.

tamie said...

i have bestowed upon you the thinking blogger award, in gratitude for this blog, which i discovered accidentally....

come to my blog to receive the award...

kindred souls said...

I must say I was intriguied by this discussion particularly with what sweetscentofbeuirut mentioned.
Kindly don't take this as an offence but you had a chance to see Lebanon in peace even for such brief period of time. We Palestinians never had that chance. I guess it's never meant to be.

Bob said...

safe journey, friend...

arch.memory said...

Tamie, thank you so much; honored!

Kindred Souls, no offense taken. And why should there be? What you said is true. I just wish I had any words of consolation for you...

SweetScentOfBeirut, yes, I am taken aback by how in stride people have taken it, a natural means of adapting and continuing. But what is more upsetting is the current internal rift. However I am realizing that there is still plenty of reason to hope, at least in the people here. For every ten people leaving there is one person not unable to leave, but unwilling to leave, and even coming back. And that is reason to hope.